28 December 2010
Between dog and wolf
– horse horse tiger tiger –
rabbit skins are falling.
A mute eating yellow lotus,
like a bee to a crying face;
thinking about the immortality of the crab.
It rains enough to drink while standing up.
The devil knows more for being old
than for being the devil. He'd steal
your chickens and beg for eggs.
Speaking of Cao Cao, Cao Cao is here:
he's trying to shit higher than his ass can reach.
Never say that priest is not my dad –
this ain't my first rodeo.
Every creature that walks ends up in a grill.
If you are going to screw me, at least give me
a kiss, oiling your moustache in anticipation
of the jackfruit tree bearing fruit.
Foreign sayings from a multitude of other languages, including the title (from Polish), all taken from a Reddit discussion about culturally untranslatable phrases started 3 December 2010. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.
23 December 2010
Took nuts w me to the park today
Squirrel sat on my lap
Closest I'll ever get
(Eating out of the palm of my hand...)
Text message from a sister, submitted by Steve Kirk.
21 December 2010
It is always okay
to paint the sky orange
and give cats six legs.
From the blog post What Should a 4 Year Old Know? The first line is one syllable too long for a proper senryu/haiku but close enough. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.
16 December 2010
A! Tis some stale thorn.
I ache rich ballads, M!
I'm stagy when neer.
Live merman: hell.
Awful killin' Erma!
Makz 'n nice compote
Anagrams of eminent authors by Edmund Wilson in 1953, taken from Futility Closet. Submitted by Marika Rose.
14 December 2010
From the custom dictionary on my phone – these are all the words my phone has learnt from me. Submitted by Jo Bell.
09 December 2010
Our French dream is over . . .
and now I fear for our
happy marriage, says
Lauren Booth: I changed my
Facebook profile after
a row and now my husband
is in a coma.
I asked him: 'Do you know
who I am?' reveals
Lauren Booth as her husband
emerges from a coma.
Lauren Booth thanks God her
husband survived a
accident but confesses:
The man I loved is dead.
Lauren Booth wrote about
dumping her husband on
Facebook and his terrible
road accident but now
her mother-in-law asks:
Why can't we keep
this in the family?
Lauren Booth: why I hate
my mother and never
want to see her again.
Daily Mail headlines featuring Lauren Booth, collected by the Guardian's Lost in Showbiz blog, 28th October 2010. Submitted by Marika Rose.
07 December 2010
Even the Euro
began pouring into play to
many, leading. Them, they were not realising. You
don't recognise your new problems.
Ridiculed in six weeks prior.
I live, come together and help each other.
The people make nearly all of our racquetball a Guerrier Gordon
I’m just a troll and eastern European
are you good at that?
Seven as the sun.
Ronald book on Dearing committee
or start flooding in to Western Europe.
asking questions take the altered
e.g. the Tories blame rather half
crosses on grounds of grown ups, windows monuments
he rose to the person.
The result of using new dictation software for the very first time to transcribe an interview, 18 November 2010. Almost none of the words are correct. Submitted by Rachel Helen Smith.
02 December 2010
Sorry, I am so fucked!
Picc and vic lines down
(At least it sounds funny)
On a bus
will need +1 more bus
or 2 more tubes
Going to be very late
I am so sorry.
Text message sent by a friend running late for dinner, 13th November 2010. Submitted by Fiona Green.