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28 April 2016

Letters to God


A great deal of my mail
comes from fans – fans of all ages.
The scholarly, the curious,
the disbelievers write and ask

how? why? when? what for?
did you fly? melt? scream? cackle?
appear? disappear? produce?
sky-write? deal with monkeys?

etc., etc., etc.



Actress Margaret Hamilton quoted on Hyperallergic, 3 April 2016. Submitted by Howie Good.

25 April 2016

Step two


although the thought that we wasted
money, misplaced our trust and threw away
our time sickens us to no end, we must

accept these logic-defying feats of idiocy
as learning experiences; otherwise, we will walk
no further on the NAA no-path. We must

say it again and again,
we’ve been toe fooled, we’ve been toe fooled, we’ve been
toe fooled.

are we home yet, Shanti? This must become our
anti-mantra, a non-affirmation
affirmation capable of penetrating our ether-filled minds,

helping us to admit that Jesus.com has nothing to
do with Nostradamus. Now is the time when we must
learn to question every Tom, Dick and Guru who shops

in a health food store, see that the only implants in
need of removal were inserted by the most dangerous E.T.
of all: Earth’s very own Extortion Terrestrials.

this is a difficult task indeed, for only those who’ve put their
inner children to bed know the difference between retail
spirituality and spiritual retaliation.



Excerpt from 12 Steps For The Recovering New Ager, New Age Anonymous. Submitted by Ana Prundaru.

21 April 2016

4 AM in the Morning


I saw my dad was on my mom
and my mom said
Go to the office.

My dad was hitting her
and when my dad left
he took my phone.

His friend
was blocking the stairs.
His friend’s name is James

and my dad kicked my mom
and he told me
to go in my room.

But I went to go get
my mom’s friend
who lives in our back house.

My dad knocked on my door
to the patio and I opened it
and he came in

and told me
to close the door
to the family room.

Then I heard yelling
and I came out
and my dad was hitting my mom.

It happened
at 4 am
in the morning.



An excerpt from a police report generated by boxer Floyd Mayweather’s young son, Karoun on 9 September 2010. Submitted by Richard King Perkins II.

14 April 2016

Filey


Almost mid-way betwixt
Scarborough and Bridlington,
Filey Brigg,
being a nose of cliff thrust out into the sea
to form a horn of Filey Bay.

Here, there, are sands
i n o n e v a s t g l o r i o u s e x p a n s e,
from the Brigg to the Bempton Cliffs –
six miles of them all round the bay,
so spacious that there could never be
any overcrowding.
The beach
shelves
gently.



From a chapter on Holidays in Every Woman’s Enquire Within: A Complete Library and Household Knowledge for all Home-Loving Women, ed. A C Marshall (London: George Newnes Ltd), 1939. Submitted by H L Foster.

11 April 2016

To do list, October 21, 1950


Be kind,
resourceful,
beautiful,
friendly,
have initiative,
have a sense of humour,
tell right from wrong,
make mistakes,
fall in love,
enjoy strawberries and cream,
make some one fall in love with you,
learn from experience,
use words properly,
be the subject of your own thought,
have as much diversity of behaviour as a man,
do something really new.



A list of activities that critics of mechanical information processing claim a machine could never by fundamental nature perform, from Computing Machinery and Intelligence by Alan Turing, published in the journal Mind, 1950, chapter 'Arguments from Various Disabilities'. Lines 11 and 14 changed to second person. Submitted by Daniel Galef.

07 April 2016

A Hiding Darkness


The monsters
in our cupboards
and our minds
are always there
in the darkness
like mold
beneath the floorboards
and behind the wallpaper
and there is so much darkness
an inexhaustible supply
of darkness.

The universe is
amply supplied
with night.




From Trigger Warning by Neil Gaiman (William Morrow, 2015). Submitted by Anabella Maria Galang.

04 April 2016

Mosaic Mosaic


Don’t kill people.
Don’t marry two people.
Don’t act like a snake.
(Don’t be sneaky).



A child's list of how to do the right thing from The Most Hated Family in America, a Louis Theroux documentary about the Westboro Baptist Church, BBC 2007. Submitted by Daniel Galef.