One of my hermits is moulting

What should I do?
Nothing. Moulters already
have to suffer from stress.
Disturbing them will make it worse.
Place a cave over them
to provide darkness.
Most will harden.

How do I distinguish a dead hermit?
Look for a claw in the shell.
The eyes should be hollow
and translucent.
The eyes of dead hermits
are dark in colour, just like
when they were alive.

How long should I wait?
You are better digging
up a dead hermit
three months later
than stressing one to death
that was alive and could
have surfaced on its own.

Why is my hermit being lethargic?
This is normal behaviour.
Offer protein and calcium.
There is not much else you can do.
Sometimes they experience
difficulty shedding
so they give up and drop.



Advice from Hermit Crab Paradise website, extracted 29 April 2016. Submitted by Linda Goulden.

Breathing deeply

Buy dishes at a thrift show
and break them in a safe place.
Or put them in a paper bag
and hit with a hammer.

Draw a face of someone you’re mad at
and jump on the paper,
or tear it up. Scream.
Scream in the shower.
Scream into a pillow.

Stuff a pillowcase with grass,
draw a face on it,
and hit it. Chew gum —
imagine you are biting the person.

Do an angry dance to music.
Growl into a mirror. Make faces.

Throw a wet washcloth against the wall
in the bathtub. Squeeze a towel.
Punch a pillow. Hit a mattress
with a tennis racket. Pound clay.
Tear magazines. Tape
the bottom of your shoe
with the name of person
you are mad at and walk around.

Sometimes the body feels very tired.
Write all the bad words you can think of.



From a list of Things To Do to Express Anger Safely from the Violet Solomon Oaklander Foundation. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

What Goes Wrong With Poems

Tom once told me
a poem had to capture
his attention
in the first four lines.

Or perhaps it wasn’t four.
Perhaps it was within
the first twenty words.
Or perhaps I can’t remember
precisely what he said
and am wilfully recreating
the memory.

But I am sure he spoke
about our shared expectation
that poetry (Poetry),
that finest form of writing,

should do something
dynamic early on.



Taken from a blog post on the Happenstance Press website, 14th July 2013. Submitted by Angi Holden.

The Wisdom of the East

The face
of nature

reflects
all of

life’s ups
and downs.

Carve your
name on

your heart,
not in

marble.
You are

the center
of attention

wherever
you go.



Three slips of paper inside fortune cookies from a Chinese restaurant in Chinatown, New York City. Submitted by J.R. Solonche.

Guitar practice

Wait until the moon is out
then go outside
eat a multi-grained bread
and play your guitar to a bush.
If the bush doesn't shake
eat another piece of bread.



From Captain Beefheart's 10 Commandments of Guitar Playing. Submitted by Grace Andreacchi.

Thirteen

Try to avoid your movements
in long lonely road after sunset,
which approaches the beach
where there is a poor light.



Item 13 of a photocopied 'Advice to tourists' sheet, handed out upon arriving at Kudle Beach, Gokarna, India. Submitted by John K.

Don't be alarmed

Don't be alarmed if your transfer isn't completely perfect
Some work better than others and
You'll learn a lot from experimenting
On different surfaces
The final image is meant to be imperfect



From 'How to transfer a photo to fabric' on A Beautiful Mess blog. Submitted by Bill.

I decided not to save the world

It is of utmost importance
that we repeat our
mistakes as a reminder to
future generations of
the depths of our stupidity



An advert for an exhibition at the Tate Modern, spotted on Jonny Baker's blog on 16th December 2011. Submitted by Marika Rose.

Insects In General

Don’t worry about popular opinion
Don’t worry about dolls
Don’t worry about the past
Don’t worry about the future
Don’t worry about growing up
Don’t worry about anybody getting ahead of you
Don’t worry about triumph
Don’t worry about failures unless it comes through your own fault

Don’t worry about mosquitoes
Don’t worry about flies
Don’t worry about insects in general
Don’t worry about parents
Don’t worry about boys
Don’t worry about disappointments
Don’t worry about pleasures
Don’t worry about satisfactions



Taken from a letter by F. Scott Fitzgerald to his 12-year-old daughter Scottie, away at summer camp. Submitted by Marika Rose.