Wardrobe Mistress

My mother is ninety and likes
To wear a nice dress.
But she is tiny.

Size ten, and only five feet tall, she likes
Colour, nothing too clingy.
And needs a collar.

She would also like some nonslip
Ankle boots that are
Size four and a half.

Please help.

Nobody seems to cater for
Small, slim people of a certain age
Who are not terrifically flexible.

Do not want low necklines.
Do not like black and beige.



Taken from the "Wardrobe Mistress" column in the Sunday Times' Style Magazine, 29 September 2013. Submitted by Kirsten Luckens.

London Scarves

I began to notice scarves.
Chaps with scarves
particularly.

There's the bohemian scarf
worn by elegant chaps
in the environs around Buckingham Palace
and among thespians,
a rather loose-tied scarf
loping down from the neck,
showing an elegant
carelessness.

There's the university flick,
which has one leg dangling
down the front
and a single wind
around the throat
and the other leg dangling
down the back - a little bit
Dr Who
and a little bit juvenile lead.

There's the good boy scarf,
neatly folded in front
and tucked in tight to protect
the throat and the chest,
no doubt with a Vicks rub
underneath.

There's the scarf which is wound
round and round
the throat, the throttling scarf,
or I don't care if anybody knows
I'm wearing a scarf but I really need to
keep warm.

Then there's that funny Italian double loop
which arrived a couple of years ago,
where you shove both ends
through the loop
and bring it round your throat
and flash it off
in rather an unnecessarily
vain way,
although, it has to be confessed
(I'm afraid I've tried it once or twice),
is very warm.



From the BBC Radio 4 In Our Time newsletter from Melvyn Bragg, emailed 31 January 2013. Submitted by Lesley Ingram.

The Shape of Our Rage

Gradually men rise up to confront them.
One of the bravest is
a teenage hairdresser’s apprentice.

Vidal Sassoon, the man who gave us
the Five Point Cut, the Asymmetric Bob
and Mia Farrow’s £2,500 haircut

was a street-fighting man.
“That popinjay Mosley.
Fascists preaching hate on every corner.

The same abuse that I remembered
from the 1930s,
I was too young to do anything about it.

The pictures we were seeing
from Auschwitz and Buchenwald and Dachau
changed the shape of our rage.

I went to work at the salon in Mayfair
with a badly scratched face
and this refined client said

Good God, Vidal, you look terrible.
What happened to you?
Nothing much, I said. I just fell over a hairpin.”



Taken from a report published by Anti-Fascists Online following the death of Vidal Sassoon, published on 9 May 2012. The poem consists of selections from the article, with punctuation added. Submitted by Jo Bell.

Shema

I am the coat
I am the jumper
I am the coat
I am the jumper

I am the magic dress



Signs in the window of French Connection in Newcastle, spotted on the 17th October 2011. Submitted by Marika Rose.

Model Code

Flick yer bean
For Agyness Deyn
Give us a blow
Daisy Lowe

Wham bam
Thank you Stam
My flies are undone
Lily Donaldson

I'm a tosser
For Coco Rocha
Fancy a screw
Behati Prinsloo

Do me daily
Christoper Bailey
Cause me pain
Hedi Slimane

Uhu
Gareth Pugh
My legs are crossed
Georgia Frost

Grab my weiner
Iekeliene
Give us a backhander
Rachel Alexander

Let's play naked Twister
Linda Evangelista
You would if you could
Cindy Crawford

I'll show you who's boss
Kate Moss
I've got more than a handful
For Naomi Campbell

Who needs a husband?
I've got House of Holland



T-shirt slogans from House of Holland's AW07 collection (under Catwalk>AW07 on the site). Submitted by Marika Rose.

Gauntlet

They existed before my hands.
But it seems like I took them and
put them on my hands and put them
on other hands too. I like the
idea of rhinestones for fun.



Karl Lagerfeld's response to a question about his gloves in The Peripatetic Fashionista, on the Imagine Fashion website. Submitted by Marika Rose.

Masque

When CARINE ROITFELD
invited me at VOGUE PARIS
90th Anniversary
party on the september 30 in Paris,
I was so thrilled, but when I knew
that was a BAL COSTUME
inspired by EYES WIDE SHUT,
I was worried.

Why?
Cause if CARINE ROITFELD
invites you to her party,
she expects to be
surprised by your look.

All the guests are form creative environments, than are supposed
to be creative even about themselves.

How to think of a dentist who hasn't
the most white and beautiful teeth?

From Anna Della Russo's blog, 27th September 2010, via the Guardian's Fashion Statement. Punctuation and line arrangement original. Submitted by Marika Rose.