Hello I am also bored

I'm at home all by my lonesome,
reading and waiting a little while
before I brush my teeth
and go to bed.

I could go for some conversation
if you're interested.
Don't much have
a particular topic in mind.

I worked ten hours today
and ate Taco Bell for dinner.

Do you like stuff?
Do you hate stuff?

Things? Place, people, ideas?
For/against any topic?

Want to discuss
the weather?

I'm all eyes for what you have to say.
Hope to hear from you.



From Craigslist Strictly Platonic, 23 December 2014. Submitted by Erica Tucker.

Doubles

I miss you. I hark back to the friendship
we used to have, impromptu adventures,
knowing the everyday details of each
other's lives, nights in watching trashy TV.

I've been there at 3am when you've clutched
my hand and explained he's dependable
and he'll make a great father. I want to
tell you that it's the 21st century

but you don't listen to me any more.
I am impeccably polite. I put on
a rictus grin when you spend an hour
discussing your wedding plans. I am

becoming a souvenir of your past life,
to be gradually discarded for
women you can play doubles tennis with.
I'm happy for you. But I wish you'd call.



From What I'm really thinking: the single friend, The Guardian, 26 January 2013. A few words omitted: 'that' (line 6), 'I know, 'really' (9), 'something' (14); and sub clauses removed in lines 8 and 12. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

The Jealous Friend

When we’re side by side
walking down the street
every glance is in her direction.
I pretend not to notice
but I feel like an accessory
it's as if I don’t exist

I was ecstatic one summer
When she put on a lot of weight
and was wallowing in misery
I had a spring in my step
when we walked down the street
but she still managed to take centre stage
even with her muffin top



From What I'm really thinking: the jealous friend in The Guardian Weekend. The poem is picked out of two sections of the article. Submitted by Lisa Oliver.

Distance

Well
I guess it all comes down
to you thinking you're smarter than me
and me thinking I'm smarter than you.



Taken from a conversation with a friend at 1am on the 4th September, 2012. Submitted by Wesley Brown.

Stream

Lynsey Peterson likes we want
a Scottish flag on Facebook.

Anna Hammond Сака ли некој
да одиме во парк денес?

Rebecca Grohl commented on her own 
status: Ich bin eigentlich ueberfluess…

Luke Southey is listening to 
Que Veux-Tu by Yell on Spotify. 

Clive Law commented on Peter Meadow's
status: I always put too much red wine…

Natalie Southey and Ruth Garcia-Lopez
are now friends.

Russell Goodwin OMG!



From my Facebook friends latest activity stream (or whatever that short update column on the right is called) on 17 October 2011. Exactly the order in which they appeared, names altered for privacy. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

Remember This

Thanks to the girls for
a laugh-out-loud weekend
away. I will never forget
us walking into that bar
full of golfers when we
were dressed in our
white dressing gowns
and slippers.



A text message featured in the Metro newspaper's Good Deed Feed, 4th October 2011. Submitted by Marika Rose.