You have parked so badly

You have parked so badly
making it very difficult for me
to get my car out.

Were you drunk?
You are certainly very selfish
and inconsiderate.

S. Banks.



A handwritten note left on the windscreen of a badly parked car in Bristol, UK. Submitted by Daniel Mehmet.

Jeep for sale

Calls only, I don't do mores code
I don't text
be a man and call me.

No title no title no title
don ask

yes it is a 1986
so yes
it may have some rust
if that bugs dont buy it
that how It is

no you may not come work on it
if you buy it take it home do what you want
may run May not,
i don't know

Will not drive jeep to your place
no joy rides
no cash no test drive

Trades welcome
need to be man stuff
no toy race cars,
or over price atvs,
or rolls of used carpet
or doll houses
no junk

Jeep not for a teenage girl's first jeep,
jeep built to be driven by a man

offers ok.



From Craigslist sales posts, Charlotte, NC, July 2014. Submitted by Carlos Pelay.

Futurama

As the car
in front of us
stopped,
the lanky German
driving our car
indicated
that he was going
to look away
from the road
and slam
on the accelerator.

And he did.

This is how
the future
creeps into
the present.



Taken from the NPR article, By The Time Your Car Goes Driverless, You Won't Know The Difference, 4th March 2014. Submitted by Howie Good.

Taxi driver

I like
to imagine myself
as the lion of the road,
prowling
the streets
for prey.

In the pecking order,
taxi drivers
rank pretty
highly;

pedestrians
are like chickens,
cyclists
are the monkeys

and buses
are wildebeests,
grinding along
in packs.



From What I'm really thinking: the taxi driver, Guardian Weekend, 16 November 2013. Submitted by Ailsa Holland.

25-5-12

Please could you park
in the student car park if
you are in again.

The student car park
is on the opposite side
of the building.



A handwritten note found on the street near to my house in the UK, signed "Traffic Controller". The title is the date written on the note. Submitted by Steve Clement-Large.

We're Here For You

We’re here for you
24 hours a day,
365 days a year,
and not just for breakdowns.

Flat battery,
flat tyre,
locked your keys
in the car
- with your RAC membership
you’re covered for all of these
and more.

We aim
to find you fast
and solve your problem
quickly too.

We fix
almost 80%
of cars at the roadside
(excluding accidents
and extreme failures).

Once you’re on your way again
we can follow you
for a while
just to make sure everything’s okay.

If your car does
let you down
we won’t.

Extract from a customer welcome letter from the RAC, received 19 August 2008. Submitted by Marika Rose.