To Bumble Beer

Simply the Best, The Bee’s Knees,
Eight Hundred Years of Innovation;
William Wilberforce Freedom Ale,
Eight Hundred Years of Inspiration.

Jack's Revenge, Geronimo, Polly's Folly, Oscar Wilde,
Nelson's Revenge, Tally Ho!, Nero, Black Dog Freddy Mild.
Merry Andrew, Happy Jack, Prometheus, Sir Roger's Porter,
Edwin Taylor's Extra Stout, Betty Stogs, Gunner’s Daughter.

Cock ‘n’ Bull story, Mutt’s Nuts, Straw Dog, Stoat,
Golden Newt, Sly Fox, White Hart, Old Goat,
Curlew's Return, Black Dog Mild, Double Swan, Porker’s Snout,
Funky Monkey, Whapweasel, Marmalade Cat, Oyster Stout.

Porta Porta, Salem Porter,
Black Jack Porter, Aviator;
Rivet Catcher, Umbel Magna
Golden Plover, Silver Adder;
Cornish Knocker, Spingo Bragget
Broadside, Spingo Jubilee;
Kellyhopter, Maritime, Frigate,
Wherry, Village Bike, Maybee…

Nyewood Gold, Somerland Gold, Golden Lance, Dark O,
Shackler's Gold, Halzephron Gold, Golden Shower, Nero.
Honey Blonde, Sunchaser Blonde, Blonde Bombshell, Loveley’s Fair,
Lakeland Red, Kingston Black, Dark Ruby, Ginger Bear.

Polar Eclipse, Stormwatch, Spooky Moon, Storm Force,
Polar Star, Impy Dark, Dark Forest, Golden Gorse;
Lost in the Woods, Armageddon, Pendle Witches’ Brew,
Flying Serpent, Red Dragon, Iron Bridge Brew.

Elderquad, Agincourt, Danish Dynamite,
Scapa special, Chawden Aur, Chocolate Orange Delight.
Elderfizz, Shacklebush, Mad Monk, Pioneer,
Welterweight, Slumberjack, Pi, Bumble Beer.



A list of beer names (and three ciders - can you spot them?) from the Thirty-Sixth Cambridge Beer Festival Programme, May 2009. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

St Agnes Smooth and Creamy

St Agnes – smooth and creamy with bananas
to the fore in aroma and taste.
Smoky malt overtones subside as
increasing bitterness dominates
a gently receding finish. Comrade
Bill Bartram's Egalitarian
Anti-Imperialist Soviet Stout –
a bold and tasty Russian stout with
a mouthfilling, airy texture and a lot
of enjoyable, peppery, bitter
chocolate flavours. Umbel Magna –
coriander is added to the Old
Growler wort to complete this original
seventeen-fifties' recipe. The subtle
spiciness adds to the appeal of this
rich, dark porter. Ported Porter – an old-style
porter. Smooth and creamy, spiked with port to
give it the flavour of dark berries. Spingo
Bragget – this beer gets its deceptively
smooth, sweet taste from apples and honey but
beware – it isn't a beer for lightweights.
Old Stoatwobbler – strong, dark and luscious. Complex
and fruity with a smooth, soft finish. Vegan.
Eight Hundred Years of Innovation –
gruit ale, sweet gale, wormwood, caraway and
wild rosemary are used instead of hops
to flavour this ale. It is said gruit ale
stimulates the mind, creates euphoria
and enhances sexual drive. Golden
Shower – sorry, no tasting notes available.



A selection of ales and their tasting notes from the Thirty-Sixth Cambridge Beer Festival Programme. A poem made purely from the beer names to follow. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

Who Would Be Your Ideal Woman?

My wife (Eva, a model) first –
I am very happy with her.
But second?
I used to love Sharon Stone but
now she is a little bit old.
I like Danielle Lloyd – yes really!
She is nice; I don’t dream about her though,
I just think she is nice!
I am happy with my wife though!



One of the answers from an interview with the Senegalese defender Habib Beye in the Newcastle v Arsenal official matchday programme 21 March 2009. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.