Tunnel of Love

Undoubtably one of the highlights of
the day – and a first for the show – was the
successful world record breaking attempt
by Alnwick-based North Northumberland Dog

Training Club. With the help of one thousand
pairs of legs the club comfortably smashed the
existing record for a dog running
through a tunnel of legs. As one thousand

volunteers stood patiently in the main
arena with their legs akimbo,
Staffordshire Bull terrier cross, Elsa,
and Border Collie, Shadow, broke the world

record with ease.



From the Hexham Courant, Friday 29 May, 'Record Breaking County Show draws 27,000 Crowd'. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

For When the Numbers Don't Speak for Themselves

Imagine
a typical reader
looking over your shoulder as you write,
and reacting to your words.
Try to keep this reader interested,
intrigued,
but not baffled.
Try and make
a continuous chain of written thought. Do not
lurch
from
one topic to
another without adequate introduction or
ration-
ale. ‘Discontinuity’ and jumps
in
ex-
po-
si-
tion
are off-putting to your
readers. Hence clear
organisation is very helpful, to the
reader and to the
writer. Unless it is very short,
divide your work
into sections, each dealing
with a CLEARLY IDENTIFIED SUBDIVISION of your topic.
Begin by saying what the project is about;
…
do not give the impression of grinding to a halt because you can not think of anything more to say.

By Kat(i)e, 6 June 2009. Writing advice in a final year undergraduate project handbook put together by Bristol University Maths Department. Kat(i)e used ellipsis to represent omitted text.

Repair

Please take care of the
University’s books and
remember:
books are expensive;
handle them with care.

Protect them at all times
from the elements
and from ink, food
drink and other potential
sources of damage.

Photocopying can damage
books seriously if not
carried out carefully.

Please point out to the
Library staff any necessary
repair work you may notice.

Information on the back of a book reservation slip, Cambridge University Library, 15 May 2009. Even the line arrangements are original. Submitted by Marika Rose.

Wee Imperative

Return
to
left
after
overtaking



Message seen on a digital road sign on the M74 driving into Scotland, 30 May 2009. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

Flickr Case 1206715

I have escalated your email
to a senior representative
in an effort to obtain
the best answer.

Please allow some time
for a follow-up reply
to your question.



Email from Yahoo in response to my request to get back into my Flickr account 3 years after last using it, having forgotten all of my login and security details. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

To Bumble Beer

Simply the Best, The Bee’s Knees,
Eight Hundred Years of Innovation;
William Wilberforce Freedom Ale,
Eight Hundred Years of Inspiration.

Jack's Revenge, Geronimo, Polly's Folly, Oscar Wilde,
Nelson's Revenge, Tally Ho!, Nero, Black Dog Freddy Mild.
Merry Andrew, Happy Jack, Prometheus, Sir Roger's Porter,
Edwin Taylor's Extra Stout, Betty Stogs, Gunner’s Daughter.

Cock ‘n’ Bull story, Mutt’s Nuts, Straw Dog, Stoat,
Golden Newt, Sly Fox, White Hart, Old Goat,
Curlew's Return, Black Dog Mild, Double Swan, Porker’s Snout,
Funky Monkey, Whapweasel, Marmalade Cat, Oyster Stout.

Porta Porta, Salem Porter,
Black Jack Porter, Aviator;
Rivet Catcher, Umbel Magna
Golden Plover, Silver Adder;
Cornish Knocker, Spingo Bragget
Broadside, Spingo Jubilee;
Kellyhopter, Maritime, Frigate,
Wherry, Village Bike, Maybee…

Nyewood Gold, Somerland Gold, Golden Lance, Dark O,
Shackler's Gold, Halzephron Gold, Golden Shower, Nero.
Honey Blonde, Sunchaser Blonde, Blonde Bombshell, Loveley’s Fair,
Lakeland Red, Kingston Black, Dark Ruby, Ginger Bear.

Polar Eclipse, Stormwatch, Spooky Moon, Storm Force,
Polar Star, Impy Dark, Dark Forest, Golden Gorse;
Lost in the Woods, Armageddon, Pendle Witches’ Brew,
Flying Serpent, Red Dragon, Iron Bridge Brew.

Elderquad, Agincourt, Danish Dynamite,
Scapa special, Chawden Aur, Chocolate Orange Delight.
Elderfizz, Shacklebush, Mad Monk, Pioneer,
Welterweight, Slumberjack, Pi, Bumble Beer.



A list of beer names (and three ciders - can you spot them?) from the Thirty-Sixth Cambridge Beer Festival Programme, May 2009. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

St Agnes Smooth and Creamy

St Agnes – smooth and creamy with bananas
to the fore in aroma and taste.
Smoky malt overtones subside as
increasing bitterness dominates
a gently receding finish. Comrade
Bill Bartram's Egalitarian
Anti-Imperialist Soviet Stout –
a bold and tasty Russian stout with
a mouthfilling, airy texture and a lot
of enjoyable, peppery, bitter
chocolate flavours. Umbel Magna –
coriander is added to the Old
Growler wort to complete this original
seventeen-fifties' recipe. The subtle
spiciness adds to the appeal of this
rich, dark porter. Ported Porter – an old-style
porter. Smooth and creamy, spiked with port to
give it the flavour of dark berries. Spingo
Bragget – this beer gets its deceptively
smooth, sweet taste from apples and honey but
beware – it isn't a beer for lightweights.
Old Stoatwobbler – strong, dark and luscious. Complex
and fruity with a smooth, soft finish. Vegan.
Eight Hundred Years of Innovation –
gruit ale, sweet gale, wormwood, caraway and
wild rosemary are used instead of hops
to flavour this ale. It is said gruit ale
stimulates the mind, creates euphoria
and enhances sexual drive. Golden
Shower – sorry, no tasting notes available.



A selection of ales and their tasting notes from the Thirty-Sixth Cambridge Beer Festival Programme. A poem made purely from the beer names to follow. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

A Network of Flu Friends

Flu friends are neighbours,
friends and relatives
who can help you

if you get ill.

For example, they
could collect medicines,
food and other supplies for you,
so that you don't
have to leave home

if you are ill.

(Some of the symptoms are
the sudden onset of
fever, cough or shortness of breath.)



From 'Important Information About Swine Flu' - a leaflet distributed nationally last week by the UK government - pages 7 and 9. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

Seven Types of Ambiguity at the Post Office on Histon Road

Sorry
POSITION
CLOSED



The pull-down blind notice in the serving position window inside the Post Office, as stared at for 15 minutes of my lunch break today. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

Dry

domain-specific language (DSL), 367
"Don't repeat yourself" (DRY) principle, 383, 390
DoPasswordChange() method, 476
DoSomething action, 308

double curly braces ({{}}), 229
drop-down lists, 336-338
DRY ("Don't repeat yourself") principle, 383, 390
DSL (domain-specific language), 367

Duration parameter, 301
dynamic content, 547
dynamic output, 22
dynamically typed variable, 73

E
echoes back, 463



From the index of Pro ASP.NET MVC Framework by Steve Sanderson. Not the first time his book has featured. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

P.117

As a finishing trick for this chapter
let's refactor
the application slightly
to simplify the List.aspx view template
(views are meant to be simple,
remember?).



My friend Steve Sanderson has just had his book Pro ASP.NET MVC Framework published. Congratulations. A little poem from p.117 to celebrate. And there'll be one more later in the week. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.

A Prayer for Skeletons

1.

Father, thank you for today.
Thank you that you made us
and that you love us.

I pray that Harry and Toby
won't be afraid of anything:
not monsters or dinosaurs,
noises or the dark,
aliens or skeletons
(or pirates),
school or nursery.

Or anything they've read in a book
or seen in a film.

I pray that they will sleep really well
and have good dreams not bad dreams.

In Jesus' name, amen.

2.

You didn't say pirates
I did say pirates.
You didn't say skeletons
I did say skeletons.

You didn't say football club
You're not scared of football club.
I am. You're not going to football club
for another four sleeps.

You didn't say nursery
I did but just for you,
help him not be scared of nursery
amen now go to sleep.


Part 1 is the word for word prayer that my sons make me pray every night before bed. Part 2 is a typical conversation that ensues. Submitted by Gabriel Smy.