The Great Illuminati Family

Hello

I am Sir Victor smith

I am one of the agents
Sent by the high priest
To bring as many of those who are interested in becoming a member of the Illuminati
To the great Illuminati temple.

I am a business man

I own companies all over the world but I was once like you

I could not even feed my family
What kind of life was that to live

I lived in poverty
Until I saw an opportunity
To be a member of the great Illuminati Family.

And I took my chances
And I have been a member for close to seven years now

Illuminati makes your business / careers grow
These and many more other benefits

So if you are interested write me via my mail:
victorsmith101@yahoo.com



Comment left in a website guestbook, found during moderation and not published, 2 August 2015. Submitted by Tim Benjamin.

The Seven Deadly Chairs

THE CHURCH WOULD BE MUCH OBLIGED
IF YOU WOULD NOT
STACK THE GREY CHAIRS ANY MORE THAN
SIX DEEP

THIS IS A HEALTH AND SAFETY MATTER
THANK YOU

From a notice at the Central Methodist Church, Todmorden, West Yorkshire, 17th March 2015. Exactly as it appeared. Submitted by Tim Benjamin.

Most unusual

It was the most unusual inquest
since the Tory MP met his maker
trussed up like a boil-in-a-bag duck à l’orange –
with a noose round his neck
a bin-liner over his head
and a satsuma
stuffed in his mouth.




From So that’s why they’re called the Funny People, Mail Online, 3 May 2012. Submitted by Tim Benjamin.